


"Why Do You Keep Coming Back?"

by pointyredboy



Series: Destroying Something Beautiful [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: ??? sort of, Anal Sex, Angst, Canon Divergence, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Feelings, Humiliation, JJ being a fuck, Light Bondage, M/M, Masturbation, Praise Kink, Yuri is savage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-09 21:05:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8911939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pointyredboy/pseuds/pointyredboy
Summary: You’d think after fucking countless times pre and post competition the two would have the capacity to withstand an emotional connection.





	1. Tied Up

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote a kind of follow-up chapter I had been planning to “Locker Room Talk” but it can also operate on its own. This basically mirrors the events of Episode 11, except it’s set further in the future. Yuri is at least 18, making him legal to drink in most of Europe where this takes place.

Bliss. Pure, unadulterated bliss. There was no other way to describe how he felt other than Cloud-Fucking-9. So many emotions were surging through him all at once - joy, relief, exhaustion...and pride. Yuri felt so proud of all the hard work and dedication he put into his craft. He created this reality for himself. He skated an incredible show, he broke the previous world-record, he was the world champion.  And he did it without Viktor’s help.  He didn’t need Viktor to be great, or anyone else, for that matter.

\--

Yuri sauntered into the hotel bar feeling on top of the fucking world.  The room was bathed in soft, incandescent lighting and smooth music played from what he assumed was the hotel band.  He was contemplating a place to sit when someone caught his eye - a friendly face, sulking quietly at the bar.  There was JJ, ‘King JJ’ _._ The man sat with his shoulders slumped, staring into his glass.

The smaller skater had never seen someone fall from their ivory tower and crash harder than Jean-Jacques Leroy the previous night.  His performance was lackluster, his score was abysmal and his energy level had steadily declined with the slow realization that he was fucking everything up.  Even Second-Rate Yuuri never screwed up that bad.

Yuri smiled, approaching the bar.  He couldn’t POSSIBLY think of better company.

“Hey, Leroy!” Yuri gave JJ a loud slap on the back and tossed himself into the barstool next to his rival.  “Aw, great job today, pal!  Some real good stuff, ya really wow’d the audience with that one,” He leaned on the bar and grinned up at the taller boy.  JJ didn’t move an inch.  “What, no, ‘Hello, Yuri’?  ‘Congratulations, Yuri’? ‘You’re the King, now, Yuri’?”

JJ took a sharp intake of breath, stifling a sob and looked away.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake,” Yuri groaned, his good mood soured.  He came here to gloat and milk every last drop of his win, and his main competition is crying?!  “Are you honestly doing this right now?”

The man downed his glass before speaking in a quiet, trembling voice.  “You don’t understand what this feels like, Yuri.”

Yuri snorted. “I got second place to your dumb, overdramatic ass for the better part of three years.  Don’t tell me I don’t--”

“I didn’t get second, Yuri.  I got sixth.   _Sixth.”_ JJ spat the word like it was poison on his lips, like it physically hurt him to say.  “I don’t know if I’ll ever have the confidence to skate again…”

Yuri was a little taken aback, to be honest.  He’d never seen this vulnerable side to JJ.  It was alarming.  “I-I think you’re being a touch dramatic.  As usual.  And well,” Yuri slid a hand onto JJ’s knee.  He’d planned on victory sex, but he supposed this would work, too. “I bet I could find a way to make you feel better…”

The taller skater scoffed.   _Scoffed._  “Meaningless sex with an easy lay will not fill the void in my life left by this catastrophe.”

Yuri tore his hand off JJ’s knee like it burned.   _What the fuck was_ that _supposed to mean?_ “Oh, sure.  You’ve suddenly grown a conscience and moral fiber now that you’ve been dethroned.” Yuri didn’t need this.  He stood from the bar stool and adjusted his jacket. “I was trying to be nice, but you know?  A world champion probably shouldn’t be seen with a sixth placer, anyways.” Yuri started to walk away, but JJ grabbed his shoulder.

“W-wait.  Yuri, I--” JJ ran a hand through his dark hair. “I just, I really don’t want to be alone right now…” The taller man looked his friend in the eyes for the first time that night.  They were raw and vulnerable. “Please.  I don’t have anyone else.”

\--

Yuri gripped JJ’s tie, yanking him down to press their lips together as he fumbled with the card key to the taller skater’s hotel room.  Once inside, JJ wrapped arms around Yuri, engulfing his form in thick muscles.  His kisses were warm, loose and tasted like Canadian Whisky.  Yuri would never admit it, but the absence of their usual banter was a little strange.  The room was filled with a silence, void of any snide comments or competitive jabs.

Yuri pushed down on JJ so he sat on the edge of the bed, then straddled him.  JJ’s arms looped around his friend, and rested limply on his back.  They felt awkward and out of place.  His tongue didn’t seem to know what to do with itself.  It was clear the taller skater felt out of his element.

“Dude,” Yuri abruptly broke their kiss and leaned back.  “I get that you’re having, like.  A quarter-life crisis?  But you’re kinda killin’ the vibe.”  JJ’s eyes looked wide and hurt; Yuri scrambled to re-word his statement.  “NO, don’t--please.  Don’t cry again.  I just mean, you don’t seem to be very into this.” He hated having to walk on eggshells around this guy, but it was better than him wallow in self pity.

You’d think after fucking countless times pre and post competition the two would have the capacity to withstand an emotional connection.  JJ gave Yuri a non-committal shrug and looked away, clearly not comfortable having this conversation, and the feeling was mutual.  Unfortunately for Yuri, when he was uncomfortable...he babbled. “C’mon, J.  I can’t believe I have to ask you to talk about yourself.  You love talking about yourself.”

JJ furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s true…” He spoke with a truly, unbelievable amount of seriousness.  Yuri inwardly rolled his eyes.  The taller skater removed his tie and suit jacket, tossing them aside before flopping back on the bed.  Yuri did the same with his own.  “I guess my confidence has just been shot.”

“Hm.  Go on?” Yuri spoke absent-mindedly, beginning to tune the taller skater out as he slowly unbuttoned JJ’s dress shirt. Considering most of their encounters had been brief at best and relatively cramped (Yuri couldn’t even recall a time they’d had sex in a bed), it wasn’t often the smaller skater got to look at his rival.  He brushed nimble fingers over warm, tanned muscles... _Fuck, why was he always so warm?_  It was...flustering, to say the least.  Yuri re-focused his thoughts on JJ's monologue, which seemed to be detailing the roots of his confidence issues.

“...And then for some reason I couldn’t get it up on my 20th birthday, so I had to send ALL of the strippers home.”

“Uh...huh.” _How the hell did we even get here._  Yuri leaned forward and draped himself onto his rival.  He folded arms across JJ’s chest and rested his face just before him.  Their eyes met for a moment before the taller skater diverted his attention to, well, anywhere but Yuri.  While JJ still seemed to be uneasy with the situation, Yuri was beginning to take some pleasure out of watching his once confident and driven rival squirm.  He pressed a soft kiss to JJ’s jaw. “Why don’t you tell me some things that you like about yourself?”

JJ perked up at this. “Well, I’ve always got my looks going for me.” Yuri tried not to make a face, distracting himself by peppering open mouthed kisses down his torso as he spoke. “And the support of my thousands of incredible fans is almost too much to bear…” JJ sounded grateful, too absorbed in his memories to think about Yuri quietly unbuckling his slacks.  It wasn’t until the smaller skater bit down on slender hipbones that JJ was yanked back into reality.  His breathing hitched as Yuri sunk teeth into his skin and finally felt something awaken beneath the fabric.  He slowly dragged JJ’s pants and black briefs down just enough to reveal the taller skater’s semi-hard cock.

Yuri noticed JJ had stopped talking and was now watching him with needy eyes.  “Keep going.  Tell me more.” The smaller skater commanded,  He propped himself up on one hand, taking hold of JJ's dick and giving it a few slow jerks.

“A-ahm well, regardless of anything that’s happened, I’m still a pH--enomenal...skater,” Yuri wrapped his mouth around JJ mid-sentence and without warning, causing JJ to choke on his words.  The taller boy carded fingers through Yuri’s soft blonde hair with gentle pressure as he slowly took JJ down to the base.  Yuri swirled his tongue back up his length and dragged it across the head, digging fingernails into JJ’s sides as he continued to speak.  “ _Fuck,_ aah--I mean, I would have won the world championship, if I hadn’t…”

JJ trailed off, perhaps not wanting to re-live the events of last night, and perhaps lost in the wet euphoria of the smaller skater’s mouth, but something in his tone of voice jerked Yuri’s movements to a screeching halt.  He released JJ with a ‘pop’, and the sudden loss of heat made the man shiver.  The taller skater removed his hands and looked down at his friend with a perplexed expression.  

Yuri sat up and narrowed his eyes.  “ ‘Would have won’?  What’s that supposed to mean?”

For once, JJ appeared to be at a loss for words.  Finally, he cracked a smile and gave a nervous laugh.  “C’mon, kitten, be serious.  I've been solid gold for years.  It’s not like you or anyone else could actually beat me if I was in top form.”

Yuri felt rage bubbling inside him.  God, the _nerve on th_ _is guy!_  Yuri offers to help JJ, Jean-Jacques- _Shithead_ Leroy of all people, and even at rock fucking bottom the Canadouche manages to make an ass out of himself.

Worst of all, a much smaller, quieter part of Yuri would always wonder if he was right.

“Oh, JJ.” Yuri gives a tight smile and shimmies up his torso.  In several quick movements, he removes his own clothing and perches naked on JJ’s chest, creamy white skin contrasted beautifully against sun kissed freckles.  JJ smirks and goes to run hands along his friend’s body, but Yuri snatches them away and roughly pins them back against the bed.  The smaller skater reaches into the nightstand drawer to produce a tiny bottle of lube and grabs his rival’s previously forgotten tie, coiling it around the man’s wrists and tethering him tightly to the headboard.  He leans back and takes in the sight of JJ, perplexed and wriggling his wrists to discover himself immobile.

Yuri cupped the taller skater’s cheek with a soft hand.  “It is truly astonishing how far your self-absorbed brain is willing to go to delude your weak, bruised ego.  Honestly, I applaud you.”

The smaller skater scooted back so he hovered just above JJ’s abdomen, blatantly ignoring the erect cock below him.  “But it’s that kind of over-confidence that made you crash so hard the first time, you know?  So why don’t I give you a little reality check.”

Yuri gently gripped his own dick, squeezing and beginning to stroke himself.  “I’m gonna sit above you - just like this - and touch myself slowly until you prove you can be a good boy with some humility.” Yuri sighed, running his thumb over the head of his cock.  “And if you can’t...Well, gee.  Guess you won’t be having a very good time, then…” The smaller skater made quiet noises as he began jerking himself off.  JJ was uncharacteristically quiet for once, just watching his friend’s movements.

Yuri felt the need to prompt him.  “How do I look, ‘котенок’?” The smaller skater mocked his captive audience with the Russian equivalent of his pet name.  He arched his body and tilted his head back.

Yuri had meant the question to be taunting and rhetorical, but JJ spoke without missing a beat.  “Magnificent.  Otherworldly, fuck, I…” He squirmed, again pulling at the restraint tied around his wrists.  The man looked away, as if Yuri’s very presence was somewhat blinding.  “Part of me wants you to untie me so I can hold you down and mess you up, but the other part of me doesn’t think I could destroy something so beautiful.”

Yuri felt his heart flutter quietly, a secret he intended to take to his grave.  He frowned and released his cock.  “Wrong.  I look like a world ice-skating champion.” The smaller skater found and uncapped the lube he'd previously tossed aside, lathering a fair amount onto his fingers.  He reached back to press gently against his own entrance and smiled at the taller skater.  “Tell me why I won gold, JJ.”

“You sabotaged the competition?” JJ offered, clearly joking.

Yuri pressed the first finger inside himself and let out a low, sultry moan.  JJ shifted underneath him, and Yuri was careful not to touch.  “Mmm...Gonna have to do better than that.”

JJ hesitated before continuing.  “You, uh...Your movements have more fluidity than anyone in the competition.  Every flip, kick, glide, is just…” JJ’s voice broke as he watched Yuri press a second finger inside.  The smaller skater pressed back against his hand as he fingered himself open.  “...Effortless.”

When their eyes met, JJ wore an expression Yuri had never seen on him before.  The taller skater looked almost predatory, filled with want and need.  His erection ached, flush against his abdomen. Yuri smirked, pressing deep inside and panting as he pumped in and out.  “Ha--ah...Why didn’t anyone else win gold, JJ...?”

The taller skater was silent for a long time, and Yuri thought he might be refusing to answer.  Finally, he spoke.  “There’s a certain kind of pressure that hangs heavy in the room when you skate.” Yuri glanced at JJ, who stared him down.  “Every time you step on the ice, you put everything on the line.  You don’t care to appease the audience or the judges.  You skate for yourself.  Every fiber of your being bleeds into your jumps and your movements, Yuri, there’s...there’s nothing like it.  Nothing like you.” Yuri stared back at JJ, waiting for the punchline, waiting for him to laugh and make an arrogant joke, but it never came.  “Viktor doesn’t even do that.  I don’t even do that.”

JJ’s last words hit home, perhaps more than he knew.  He didn’t have a witty comeback or a snappy retort.  All he could do was lean forward and gently press their lips together. The smaller skater moved his tongue languidly alongside JJ's.  Yuri brought a hand to his face, lifting his jaw slightly to deepen the kiss.  He’d begun tangling fingers in the taller skater’s hair and grinding their hips together when he realized he was supposed to be ‘rewarding’ him.

JJ groaned as Yuri finally grabbed his neglected cock, angled it toward his entrance and sunk down on him with a sigh.  The smaller skater practically trembled with pleasure, placing an open hand on JJ’s abdomen to slowly push his ass up and back down again.

The taller skater shuddered as Yuri grinded himself down to the base.  “ _Fuck_ , you look so good on top of me, kitten.”  Yuri grinned and let his eyes flutter shut, basking in the praise.  “Faster, please...”

“Hm...since you asked so nicely,” Yuri began moving his hips at a quicker pace and the friction of JJ moving inside made his mind go foggy.

“I wish I could touch you, Yuri.  I wanna run my hands all over your body.”  JJ’s words were confident and self-assured, but his tone was broken and needy.  “I want to mark up your neck with my teeth so everyone can see the slutty mistakes of their beloved world champion.”

“Mm...hm…” Yuri moaned as he slammed himself down.  He grabbed his own erection and began to pump himself in time with his hips. “I wonder if they’d be disappointed in my low standards.”  The smaller skater grinned and opened his eyes to look at JJ, who was breathing heavily, head tossed back as Yuri fucked himself on JJ’s cock.  “I mean, honestly, why would a gold medalist always want to fuck--”

“Y-Yuri, I’m gonna--”

“--such a corny, showboating, _sixth place loser_ \--”

JJ came, hips desperate and frantic as he unloaded inside Yuri.  Yuri followed suit not long after, whimpering as he jerked himself off onto JJ’s tan chest.  Once empty, Yuri lazily lifted himself off the taller skater to flop next to him on the bed.  They both lay there breathing heavily, a hot and sweaty mess, unsure of what to say.

As usual, JJ broke the ice.  “A loser, huh?” His tone was playful, but Yuri could detect a hint of genuine curiosity.  “Why do you keep coming back then, kitten?”

Yuri shrugged.  He didn’t have a good answer.  “You like it fast and rough and you don’t whisper, ‘JJ Style’ when you come as I initially expected?”

JJ snorted as Yuri stood to get dressed.  “Yeah, I guess that’s fair.” There seemed to be something else he wanted to say, but he must not have found the words. “Anyways, could you untie me now?”

Yuri buttoned up his shirt as he spoke.  “Oh no, actually, I’m leaving you like this.” JJ laughed.  Yuri wore a tight smile, keeping eye contact with his rival.  “No, yeah, you said I was an easy lay, so I figured you’d have an _easy_ time getting out of that knot!”

JJ watched as Yuri slid into his shoes with a contented expression, waiting for him to say he was kidding.  He didn’t.

The taller skater gave a nervous laugh.  “Kitten, you can’t be--”

“I am.  But don’t worry, I’m sure if anything the maid will find you in due time, though _that’s_ sure to be embarrassing.”  The smaller skater was giddy at the thought. “Anyways, I think I have everything, so I’ll be off now.”  He headed for the door.

“Yuri, please, be reasonable.  Yuri--"

“Прощай, JJ!”


	2. Impact > Intent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri was almost non-existent at competitions for the next year. He was an apparition on the ice, there for a millisecond - beautiful, effortless - and then he was gone. So when JJ saw a flash of blonde braids moving through the crowd, he was sure he’d seen a ghost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo, final installation! no porn this time around, this was mainly just to tie up some Emotions™ pls enjoy
> 
> (unlike the other two, this one is from JJ's POV btw)

It was almost 6 months before they saw each other in person again, though not for lack of trying on JJ’s part.

The first few times he called and Yuri didn’t pick up, he assumed he was busy. Yuri was a World Champion, he had thousands of new opportunities at his fingertips.  After the 10th or 11th attempt, though...he started to suspect something else was going on.

Yuri was almost non-existent at competitions for the next year.  He was an apparition on the ice, there for a millisecond - beautiful, effortless - and then he was gone. So when JJ saw a flash of blonde braids moving through the crowd, he was sure he’d seen a ghost. JJ made a beeline for the boy, reaching out to grab his arm just before he slipped through the crowd.

Yuri whipped around with harsh eyes and yanked his arm back.

“I need to talk to you.”

Yuri softened a little at the sight of JJ, but his eyes remained hard. “I don't think that’s a good idea, JJ. I only have a half hour or so until--”

“Yuri, please. Please.”

Honestly, JJ knew his timing was awful. The impending competition filled the arena with anxious energy. It was a buzz he felt in his veins, a feeling that would only amplify in the next two hours before his own event. Yuri wore a cool expression, but he could feel nerves vibrating off of him. Despite the inconvenience of it all, JJ worried that if he let go of Yuri’s arm, he’d dissolve into the crowd, his chance to see him for longer than your average short program evaporating as well.

Maybe it was the desperate look in JJ’s eyes, maybe it was the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in so long, but Yuri gave a slight nod and let JJ take hold of his hand, leading him through the crowd.

They soon found themselves in a small locker room. It was eerily quiet and echoed with the irony of how many times the two had found each other in this setting under much different circumstances. JJ leaned back against the lockers and watched Yuri sit down on a bench.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Not exactly.”

“You can’t even look me in the eyes.”

Yuri gave him a half-hearted smile. “Didn’t think you’d want to see me after I left you all ‘tied up’.”

The playful tone was lost on JJ. “Yuri, I must have called you fifteen times.”

JJ felt his stomach twist as he waited for Yuri’s response. To say that Yuri was a constant presence in his mind for the last few years was an understatement. He became enraptured by the boy from the moment he grabbed him by the collar in the middle of an argument and crushed their lips together. Yuri surprised and enticed him, something he hadn’t failed to do since.

JJ expected sharp-tongued remarks from Yuri. He expected foul language and name calling, disobedience and cockteasing. JJ didn’t expect to find comfort and kindness in Yuri after his devastating loss six months ago.

“I don’t think we should do this anymore, JJ.”

JJ told himself he saw this coming, but the abruptness of it hit him harder than he thought it would. It manifested itself in the form of petty anger. “Hm. No kidding. I guess I was hoping you at least had the decency to be straight-forward instead of ghosting me for half a year.” JJ knew he wasn’t being fair, but he didn’t care.

Yuri looked down at his lap. “That’s not the whole story. I wanted to tell you in person after the last time, but I got busy and--”

“So it was true, what you said?” JJ’s tone forced Yuri to look up at him. His eyes were hard. “You just think I’m a sixth place loser, not worthy of your time?”

Yuri’s eyes widened. “No, that’s not--”

“Then why? Why did you think it was okay to be so selfish, so--”

“You don’t respect me, JJ!”

JJ’s face contorted. He didn’t expect that. “What?”

“This whole thing that we had was fun and competitive at first, but it started to dawn on me that you never saw me as competition in the first place.” JJ opened his mouth to argue but Yuri talked over him. “I could hear it in the things you said to me, the way you treated and used me - you never expected that I could actually beat you. And when I did, I thought,” He laughed bitterly, but there was a note of dejection in his voice. “I thought you’d see me as an equal, I guess. What a riot. Even in your most heartfelt of compliments, all you could do was compare me to past champions like Victor and yourself.”

JJ was speechless. He had known of the skater since his championship as a junior. JJ casually kept tabs on all of his competition, but it wasn’t until Yuri finished just decimals behind him in his first World Championship that he began to take an interest.

Their relationship began with ribbing banter and aggressive rivalry. JJ felt a euphoric pleasure every time he bested the prodigy, and was driven to train harder every time the reverse nearly happened. The competitive edge Yuri offered was the driving force behind most of his motivation. JJ didn’t see Yuri as an equal. He saw him as a muse.

“Look, I’m not mad. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this.” Yuri walked a step closer to JJ, sure to to look him in the eyes as he spoke. “But the whole world already compares me to Victor Nikiforov.  I don’t need another person in my life to do that, especially not someone I’ve,” Yuri paused, choosing his words carefully. He reached out a hand and tenderly brushed it along JJ’s arm. “...known so intimately.”

JJ nodded, absorbing Yuri’s words. The picture Yuri painted wasn’t how JJ felt about him. He wanted to argue, to protest and defend his intentions; now more than ever, he wanted to express how he really felt. But examining Yuri’s rigid expression made him realize that thinking only of his intentions is what hurt Yuri in the first place.

JJ wasn’t sure what to expect when he moved slowly toward Yuri. He cautiously looped arms around Yuri’s waist, making sure the smaller skater wouldn’t resist or push him away.  JJ pulled Yuri into a close embrace, burying his face into the crook of his neck and holding him tightly. He could feel Yuri hold his breath. There was a sense of finality about it, understood between the two. It made JJ’s heart ache.

“I’m really sorry, Yuri, I...” JJ’s voice was muffled and barely audible against the fabric of Yuri’s clothing. “I’m sorry.” His words hung heavy in the air for a moment before he released Yuri and walked out, leaving him alone in the locker room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahhahahhhaha I love pain
> 
> anyways I'll probably definitely be writing more for these two (and YOI in general) because I very much enjoy their dynamic but I suppose this is it for this particular storyline. thanks to everyone that read and enjoyed! ♥

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write ONE filthy oneshot yet HERE I AM. WRITING A SERIES. WITH ANGST AND FEELINGS. I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS  
> anyways  
> pls feel free to talk to me about thoughts behind how these two are feeling in this because I HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONS but there's only so much you can shove into one of these things  
> or feel free to talk to me about any characters. or YOI in general. or anything for that matter  
> okay here's my tumblr and twitter bye  
> tumblr: donut-puncher.tumblr.com  
> twitter: @otmotmotmotmotm


End file.
